Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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