he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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