You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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