I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
