We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize