OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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