So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize