i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize