Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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