Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
