...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
