i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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