Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
