Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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