I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
