Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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