The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
