I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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