Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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