College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
