and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
