How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
