There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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