The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
