I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
