yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
