Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize