Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
