i just had sex bonerless
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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