Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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