sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
