And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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