I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize