My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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