I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My dick has a subreddit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
