I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
