Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
