But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
