why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Randomize