They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
