I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
