I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
