In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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