he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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