I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
