chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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