We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's blow job season.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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