Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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