Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
