It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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