hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
