In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
