Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
