fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
