Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
