Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize