Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
