i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
