i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize