Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
