the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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