Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
