Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
