gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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