i may or may not be watching the land before time
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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