What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
