At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there's paper in my vomit.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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