I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
