i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
