Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize