So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
